Let’s take a couple minutes to be really honest with each other.  When it comes to the candidates, who is actually listening?  I’m going out on a limb here and saying – very few.

I read articles and review the checklists about the issues, I watch the news and until recently I even read friends Facebook posts about the candidates and the upcoming Presidential election.  I don’t watch the debates because I personally think they’re a mind numbing dog and pony that adds nothing to the election process (as they are today – go look at some historical debates – much better) and nothing new comes to light. It’s just more yelling, blaming, bashing, talking over each other and avoiding the issues. Afterwards both sides declare “VICTORY”!  WOW – ok fine you win now go take some photos and bad mouth the other side.  I don’t know a single person that has EVER watched a presidential debate and then changed his or her vote.  Do you?

Now, take a minute to think about the last time you had a discussion with someone whose views differed from yours.  Did you talk to each other?  Did you really listen and try to see their side of the discussion while explaining yours?  I can’t speak for everyone but I can say that in the (often heated) discussions I have witnessed, the answer is NO.  No one is listening.  The majority of people discussing politics, in my opinion, are only talking to be heard.  They have no desire to actually share information and educate or understand others about real issues and concerns.  I have friends that are as far left or right as one can possibly be.  I am very much in the middle.  I don’t like everything EITHER candidate stands for but I do like things about BOTH.

As a general rule I do not discuss politics with friends, family or pretty much anyone else when you think about it. I was recently at dinner at a friends house and was with people that have very strong views.  Many of which are very different from mine.  One person said something and I replied and then another person jumped in to explain to me what the first meant.  I can only assume that this person either 1. Thought I was too simple minded to understand what was said or 2. Thought the other person was too simple minded to have chosen words that were meant to have been said.  Either way, I found that interesting.

Later in the evening after ohhhh a little wine, I did break my own rule and had a discussion about the candidates and issues.  I said why I felt the way I did.  The other person became visibly irritated and said “Well if you are going to vote for Candidate A then you are saying you agreed with EVERYTHING that candidate has ever said or done.” I said  “No, but I do agree with the party stance and many of the issues. I also like some of the points on the other side”  I then added “If you’re voting for Candidate B then that means you agree with EVERYTHING that candidate has said or done, right?”  The reply I received was “No, but it’s different Candidate A is a horrible person and B is a supreme being”.  (I might have made up the supreme being part)   What I took that to mean was – It’s different because it is their choice so it is the only right one.   Kind of silly when you think about it.  A little note – this friend and I are very good friends and have a great love of food and wine and will continue to enjoy each others company.

In another recent series of discussions with someone I know that has  very similar view as my own but much more rigid (as in WTF – are you serious kind of rigid) This person LOVED talking to me about politics and their view.  Get that – talking TO not with me about THEIR views. They did not want my opinion and had no desire to hear any other point of view. One of these one sided conversations went on for over an hour and I was very clearly bored and over it – yep, rolled my eyes and even, in a very dramatic fashion, dropped my head to the table – the talking continued.  They made many comments about how people with other views were absolutely wrong. They would approach people in public that had a different view and open a conversation.  Once the conversation was over this person would turn to their school age child and say “Do you see what we’re dealing with?  People that have no idea what they’re doing and shouldn’t have the right to vote.” My thought – ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? – Note, this friend and I no longer have discussions.

Why do we do this?  I don’t know.  I know that it’s what we see in the news and in real life. Everyone is right, everyone else is wrong and we’re not interested in sharing information or understanding the “why”. We’re only interested in others agreeing with our viewpoint. And if they don’t we’re ready to “fight”.  Give me a freaking break.  Take a step back and think about what you’re doing. The candidates themselves aren’t doing much beyond bashing the other so of course supporters are following their lead.  It reminds me of being a kid and playing king of the mountain.  You don’t care how you get there or who takes a fall as long as you’re the one standing on the top of the hill when the game is over.

Do me a favor.  If all you’re doing is spreading hate by spewing nonsense that you saw on Facebook so it must be true, and posting hateful, candidate bashing posts  – just stop. Take a step back and post something POSITIVE about your choice.  Something positive without a backhanded compliment or a straight forward insult to the other party.  Be open to conversation and as my dad often said “Switch to receive” and hear what others have to say. Give it a try.  You might actually get someone to listen. I know I’m more likely to do so.